Yes, I know it’s a little bit scary when Adso and Uncle Pepper turn into a screeching ball of rage in the carrier on the way back from free range. I’m not quite sure why they did that either. But I would like you to know that you are not allowed to give Daddy a minor heart attack by apparently disappearing from a completely bare cage on a night when every window in the house is open, nor indeed to consequently force me to run round the house calling your name and looking under things for most of an hour. Especially not in my stupidest pyjamas. And you are absolutely, definitely not allowed to subsequently reappear from behind the &$*%ing litter tray looking utterly bemused at why I’m in such a panic. As if that wasn’t bad enough I’d already set up a makeshift Fingermouse trap, so thanks to you my useful bucket now smells like Nutrical. You’re a pain.